When I’m consulting with a couple or business partners, I have everyone who has a voice in the design answer numerous questions about their preferences such as color, style and furnishings. Then, when all my clients have voiced their opinions about what they like, I look for a compromise that will please everyone.

For example, one couple I worked with had totally different tastes. She had antiques she wanted to keep in the room, was budget conscious and wanted rich colors to warm up the room so it would feel like her personal retreat. He, on the other hand, preferred a conservative, masculine look with high end furniture. White walls were not a big deal for him.

So how did I resolve this conflict? This couple was making over a master bedroom. So first, I asked them which furniture needed to be incorporated? She had antique furniture that needed to be used and he had a green sofa that he wanted to keep. I helped them select furniture to coordinate with the antiques and sofa. We picked heavier ornate furniture that had a masculine feel in a wood color for him that blended in with her antiques. We made sure that the furniture was in a mid-range price that was a compromise for both of them. To add richer color, we put a warmer color on the walls, and replaced the fabrics on the bed and windows with a bolder look for her. For the fabric, she picked a pattern that had both the green in the sofa and purple, his favorite color from his alma mater, but also fit in with her antiques with its wonderful floral pattern. We also got rugged looking bedding and window toppers for the fall and winter seasons that he liked so they could each have bedding they loved for part of the year. Now both of them have a master bedroom they can enjoy and relax in.

Another way to compromise is to have a separate space for each of the spouses. For example, the home theatre or family room could focus on the husband’s likes and a great room or sunroom could reflect the wife’s style. In my house, the music room embodies my husband’s love of music and our family room downstairs is his domain for watching TV. For me, my space is the great room on the main level for long conversations with friends and our outdoor room in warmer months just for relaxing in the backyard.

2nd part

When you begin to design, focus on one or two rooms first, such as the great room or master bedroom. Think about which rooms you use the most or that are the most important to both of you. Next, determine the functions of the room you’ve selected
such as entertaining, reading or watching television. Then, both of you take out a pencil and a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle for two columns. At the top of the left hand column write “love” and the top of the right hand column, right “hate”. Be specific and list the exact items that you hate, eliminating the hated items from your design. But be kind to your partner, because he or she may love the same item you hate. Decide what stays and why. Does the item have sentimental value? Why do you like it? Does it evoke childhood memories? But remember, you can’t keep everything. For me, one of the items I love is an antique painting, a family heirloom, and for my spouse, its an antique victrola. Remove all the other furnishings that you hate that don’t have sentimental value, then cut out pictures of furniture and styles that you both like. Decide on your favorite colors and have your partner decide on their favorite colors. Combine the colors into a color scheme or compromise. For example, if he likes sturdy solid furniture and she likes bright furnishings that are warm and cozy, why not buy sturdier furniture and then warm it up with bright accessories like pillows, throws in attractive colors. What is your preferred style? What’s their preferred style? Why is that specifically? What do you like about your style? Once you’ve figured what you like about your style, then create a shared style that’s customized for both of you. Purchase some new furniture together and add your favorite pieces. Now you have created a wonderful design that’s fits you both.